Find peace and calm.

Couples Therapy in St. Louis, MO

You’re tired of the same fight over, and over, and over again—and you are sick of feeling misunderstood.

sometimes you are just so lonely.

You and your partner keep having the same issues over and over again, and each time you feel more lost than before. Every time a conflict comes up, it feels like your brain goes offline, and your mind is blank. Or maybe, you find yourself yelling and defensive, no matter how hard you promised yourself that things would be different next time.

Part of the problem is you aren’t sure what you are doing–your examples haven’t been particularly…inspirational. Perhaps you watched loved ones suffer in difficult marriages, and your own parents had a less-than-perfect partnership. Your greatest fear is repeating the past–but that fear alone hasn’t been enough to create smooth sailing.

This relationship has, or had, so much love–its just that right now, you are feeling seriously misunderstood. And there are a few incidents which have taken place inside your relationship that have been hard to move on from.

Sound like you?

Feeling alone and lonely in your relationship

Stuck in the same conflicts time and time again

Unable to get real resolution on certain issues

Wishing the relationship felt a little more like you had hoped

Here’s what we’ll do together

Therapy can help you understand, be understood, and develop functional authenticity and intimacy.

Together, we will learn and implement new conflict navigation skills (based on what you need). If there are any events of the past that need repair in order for you and your partner to move forward, we will do so in ways that leave you both feeling heard. 

I will guide you through understanding how your personal histories may be impacting your conflicts, and empower you to share your story with your partner in ways that increase intimacy between you two.

In session, we will face tough emotions and learn how to communicate them with clarity, directness, and kindness. I will challenge you to consider the way your own patterns are impacting your relationship dynamics and offer you alternatives.  

You will focus on building intimacy and friendship, and finally figure out how to make yourself understood, and in turn, to understand.

At the end of the day, I want you to know:

Couples therapy is a place to learn how to acknowledge, name, and articulate the feelings you have that seem scary or dangerous. You deserve to be heard, and you are capable of hearing your partner–I’m here to aid in that process.

What we’ll work on

Imagine a life where…

  • You and your partner fight confidently and with kindness.

  • You trust your partner and share a common purpose and vision.

  • You know how to take care of yourself when conflict and tension arises.

  • Your relational past no longer defines your present and future.

Change is possible.

Questions?

FAQs

  • I have been trained in Level 1 and Level 2 Gottman Method, and as such rely heavily on the large body of research and evidence-based exercises utilized by the Gottman Method. I also understand my couples through a psychodynamic approach which explores the roles, patterns, and unmet needs from your childhood which subconsciously guide your behavior in present day relationships.

  • In general, couples therapy with me follows four basic stages:

    Assessment: Our first session will include all three of us–this is where I get to know you as a couple. I will then meet with each of you individually to understand your personal histories. During this time, you will each complete a relationship assessment to give me more info about the way your relationship works.

    Working: First, we will chart a path forward together–I will share with you my observations and make sure we are on the same page. From here, we will meet regularly to address conflict, build intimacy, and create shared meaning.

    Phasing Out: There will come a point in time where you get the sense that you need sessions less, which is exciting! At this time, we will decrease our frequency and turn towards maintenance.

    Wrapping up: Eventually, you may decide that you have met your goals, and are ready to move forward. Many couples choose to keep the door open for maintenance sessions down the road, and some feel prepared to end entirely–the decision is yours.

  • In our appointments, we will treat everyone’s perspective like it makes sense. We aren’t looking for a hero and a villain. Couples therapy is an opportunity to identify unhealthy patterns, own what is yours, and reestablish connection.

  • No! For most people, healthy relationship skills are NOT intuitive, and so if you are here because intimacy and conflict have become difficult–you aren’t alone.

    The truth of the matter is that relationships do not have a magic spark that either works or doesn’t. Sure, compatibility is real–but even the most compatible people in the world will think differently at times!

    Couples therapy is the place where we acknowledge that we have a skills deficit relationally, and that in the heat of the moment our feelings are so big that we don’t embody our “best self” with our partner.

  • I am excited to work with couples of all sexual orientations, gender identities, religious and cultural backgrounds.